TOO CRABBY FOR LIFE

Travel & Quarantine experience in Abu Dhabi

We paddled our kayaks through a narrow channel and hoped this path would take us out unto the main river so we can head back to the docks at bay. The branches of the Mangrove trees kept closing in, the water underneath felt shallower and we eventually pulled into a dead end. My Aunt and Mum were on the same kayak, and got stuck on a mudflat. I felt their frustration and fear and began to panic. As stress invaded my body my paddle felt heavier. I felt heavier. My breath was quick and shallow. The docks felt miles and miles away from where we were. All possible unfortunate scenarios rushed through my head. I felt responsible. We didn’t have a guide escorting us, we were there alone and everyone was relying on me to stir us in the right direction. I failed. I disappointed them. I blamed myself for taking this wrong turn that led us here.

I had spent 3 weeks in Abu Dhabi completing citizenship papers and spending time with my family. It was my last day in Abu Dhabi and I desperately needed an experience in nature, no matter how small, before I flew back to Kuwait. I managed to convince all the girls – my 2 sisters, mum and aunt to accompany me on a kayak trip through the Mangrove preserve in the city. The Mangrove Park is protected by the Abu Dhabi Environment Agency and embodies forests, mudflats and algal communities.

We left the docks at a hotel on our kayak’s just as the sun began to rise. It was beautiful, and my aunt and mum were extremely excited. I relied on Google Maps and a little common sense to take a short but interesting path through the Mangroves. As we followed the current into the center of the preserve we noticed more wildlife – a few types of birds, fish and thousands of crabs hanging on to the roots of the Mangroves just above the surface of the water. We stopped for a break at a bridge where we secured our kayaks at a small shore and snacked on some almonds. Took a million selfies of course, and walked in a little closer between the trees to take a closer look at the animals. We finally got back in our kayaks and started paddling back.

There were a few turns right and left that weren’t on Google Maps which made it a little confusing. As we paddled on the main stream we came to a fork. We decided to take the left turn because it looked more interesting. Large trees extended their roots across the width of the channel. We ended up taking a long wrong turn and got 2 of the 3 kayaks stuck in mudflat. Here we all started to panic. I panicked the most because I felt responsible, I wasn’t the “perfect” guide I had aspired to be. I was irritated. I even pedaled away in my own kayak and gave the girls space to get their kayaks out of the sand. I later realized this is where I failed as a guide. Making the mistake of taking a wrong path wasn’t the failure. My reaction to it was. I could have stayed positive, encouraged the girls that we will be ok and helped them get out. We always forget that we are not in control of everything. Things happen. Mistakes happen. It is always our thoughts and feelings that dictate the reality of the situation, and rarely the situation itself. 

Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them.

Stoic philosopher, Epictetus

We eventually made our way out and I managed to assure the girls that we are back on the right path, and the dock was about half an hour away. But I didn’t fully enjoy the way back from that moment. I was still a little crabby. I wanted the trip to be perfect and I still believed it wasn’t. It was already 10:30 am and Abu Dhabi’s sun was irritating my skin. It started to get humid and I was worried about how the girls felt about the trip.

The trip was perfect. It revealed just how easily we get uncomfortable at the slightest bump in the road. My aunt shared her own reflections on the trip; “we really don’t know how to enjoy the moment. As soon as we got stuck we stressed out and made it more difficult for ourselves.” Once we were home we felt energized and refreshed. We were physically tired and sore from all the paddling (although my aunt was pleased with her forearm muscle gains) but mentally refreshed. 

The 3 hours journey through the Mangroves reminded me about how stressed I was about leaving Kuwait in “these unprecedented times”. I was afraid to catch the corona virus. I was afraid lockdown rules would be reinforced and I’d be stuck in Abu Dhabi and somehow not be able to come back to my life in Kuwait. There seemed to be always something to be stressed about. But as I look back on my stay in Abu Dhabi, there was SO much to enjoy.

Although I stayed in our building and avoided public places and crowds, to respect the two week quarantine period, I still maintained a regular workout schedule in our building’s gym and even took a few laps in the pool after the gym. I had the opportunity to be my own mum’s fitness coach for 3 weeks, teaching her all the basics of exercising and weightlifting. Got to take regular walks around the block with my dad and tried to teach him the importance of moving and walking regularly even if he wasn’t as excited to workout as my mum was. I helped my aunt understand her physical weaknesses and what exercises she needs to practice to strengthen her body and eliminate pain and bad posture. I was literally working away from work.

I can’t put a price on the time I spent with my siblings. I do enjoy my independence and living alone, but seeing my siblings just reminded me how much I love them and need them in my life. I also had the opportunity to introduce my friend Safaa in Abu Dhabi to my family and invited her over for lunch. And yes I enjoyed the daily home cooked meals that my mum prepared with love!

And here I am writing this on my couch in Kuwait, safe and sound. How insane was it to be crabby in moments that were calling for joy? This trip which sounded like a burden 3 weeks ago only feels like a gift now for which I am forever and endlessly grateful.

..what could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now?

Eckhart Tolle